For those who observe, it is the start of the new year. For others, it is a time to remember the passing of loved ones. For all, the chill and darkness call for a warming and flavourful drink. The Beartender is here to serve, with a drink that hearkens to the early days of New Orleans.
Love can present itself in the most surprising and anticipated ways. I was seeking exploration and self understanding. I looked for community. What I found instead was friendship, partnership and love. It has been rather epic and awesome.
So, it’s Ace week. Time to embrace that asexual in your life (just ask them really nicely if they want some body hugs first, ‘kay?) And while I’m not asexual, I have discovered that I’m asexual-adjacent. More to the point, I’m demisexual. Which is a lovely word with a fascinating meaning, that has had a complicating influence on my sex life.
It’s spooky season. Fall is my partner’s favourite season, and Hallowe’en is arguably her favourite holiday. It is a time of year when we think about warm and cozy. What could be cozier than a cocktail? This month demands a drink in its honour, and I’m just the bear to mix it up.
Submission has complexity to it. It can also be very simple. My submission as it exists today is framed by four essential rules. They are the boundaries in which my daily experience is drawn. Within that simple structure there is a great deal of breadth and nuance. I’m learning exactly how much.
Ego is a dangerous thing. Getting it out of the way has been essential to me discovering my path to submission, and what—for me—submission really means. While that definition might be mine, it has so very little to do with me, and so much to do with the person I serve.
I am a bear with a dad bod, firmly in the second half of life. While there are practical realities to that, that does not mean there are limitations—nor does it mean I’m not sexy, apparently. I bring all of me to the table, my experiences and my insights and a confidence that I lacked in my youth. That is an incredibly solid foundation from which to be negotiating a kinky relationship today.
Everyone has an origin story. This is mine. It is unique to me, although I see and hear parallels to the journeys of others. I’ve spent a lot of time repressing my wants and needs and desires, locking them away and pretending they don’t exist. That has consequences.
